How to Be Happy Alone

A guide to enjoying your own company

If I had known just how much time I would spend being and feeling alone as the mother to my amazing children, I would have taken care to actually learn a few lessons from my previous spells without the company of others. I never did such thing myself for several reasons, mostly the feeling of discomfort and the challenge involved. Whether it's due to circumstances or personal choice, spending time by ourselves can sometimes feel daunting. But there is a solitude that takes something away from us, often when we most cannot afford the loss. And then there is experience of being alone that imparts vitality and recharges us. I'd like to explore the latter, as it's a necessary skill to master for the marginalized parent of a neurodivergent child. But fear not, because I'm here to share some tips and insights on how to embrace solitude and find happiness in your own company.

First and foremost, it's essential for us to recognize that being alone doesn't always equate to the feeling of loneliness. The quality of your time spent alone can differ from one occasion to another. Solitude can actually be a very beautiful thing when used as an opportunity for self-reflection, self-discovery, and self-care. Let's do the work to intentionally reframe our perspective and see this time as a gift rather than as a burden.

I recall my initial few times left alone in the Waiting Room while my oldest child was in one therapy session or another at our specialty pediatric clinic. Most of the other parents would leave and then return once their child had been dismissed from an appointment, so I found myself nearly to completely alone on most therapy days. At first, of course, I spent the entire hour mindlessly scrolling on my phone, sometimes paying a bill or making an important call. I later learned to appreciate my alone time for being the perfect opportunity to read personal development books. I actually bought, and finished, a few titles by just dedicating my attention to my current selection during these occasions.

An obvious way to cultivate our happiness when we're alone is to simply engage in activities that bring us joy and fulfillment. You can take this time to indulge in hobbies or interests that you may not always have the chance to pursue otherwise. Whether this means reading a good book, painting, gardening, or learning a new skill, you can find something that lights up your soul and dive into it wholeheartedly.

Another suggestion is to connect with nature. Spending time outdoors can have a profound impact on our mood and well-being. Take a leisurely walk in a park, go for a hike in the mountains, or simply sit outside and soak up the sunshine. Nature has a way of grounding us into the present moment and reminding us of the beauty that surrounds us.

Additionally, practicing mindfulness and meditation can be incredibly beneficial to you when you're alone. So, intentionally set aside some time each day to quiet your mind, focus on your breath, and be present in the moment. Practicing mindfulness can help you to alleviate stress and anxiety, allowing you to cultivate a sense of peace and contentment within yourself, by yourself.

It's just as important to nurture your physical and emotional well-being during these times of solitude. Make self-care a priority by taking care of your body through physical exercise, choosing to eat nourishing foods, and by getting an appropriate amount of rest daily. And don't neglect to nurture even your soul through practices like journaling to prompts, practicing gratitude, and saying positive affirmations.

Ultimately, learning to be happy when you're alone is a personal journey of self-discovery and self-love. By embracing solitude as an opportunity for growth and personal development instead of avoiding it completely, you can cultivate a deeper sense of happiness and fulfillment within yourself. Decide to accept this time as a chance to reconnect with yourself, to explore your passions, and to foster a life that brings you true joy and happiness. Remember, you are never truly alone – you always have yourself, and that is a beautiful thing.